doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
