I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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