Your dad touched me again.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
