the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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