you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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