the day after is always just damage control
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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