Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
