have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize