Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
