Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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