So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
