Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
