This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
