On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
