I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
