The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
