yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize