Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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