I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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