yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
