just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was âTits On A Stickâ.
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