guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
