so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
