I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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