we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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