I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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