that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
