I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
