I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
