She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
