one word: firstdatebathroomanal
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
