I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize