She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
