which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
