Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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