i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
