i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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