Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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