strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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