Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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