There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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