I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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