there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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