In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
