There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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