too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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