the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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