how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
