U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My feet surprised me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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