My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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