Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
