tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
