I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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