I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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