Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
