this beer tastes like vomit already
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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