some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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