I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
