So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Boobs speak an international language.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
